hi, i am elsa.

i wake up before 5am, and go bed before 9pm. i want do my own projects before the day kicks in.

i work 4-days a week as a junior developer in a bank.

since december 2020 i work mostly from home office. but when i don’t then…

i cycle to work, no matter the weather. rain. wind. snow. i don’t care. deadly cold, or bloody hot. i don’t care. i need the ride more than it needs me. it relaxes my mind, heart, and body.

i listen to audio – books or music – while i cycle anywhere. sometimes, i listen to podcasts. some days i just listen to the beat of my own heart, or dial all the way in on how i feel.

since august i’ve started my days with words on repeat…

i am filled with unlimited value. i’ve done nothing wrong. i deserve the utmost care and love.

yeah, that’s hyper spiritual. whatever works, hey?

this is my open-eye meditation.

also, i read a lot. mostly, memoir and knowledge share books that help me in becoming a better writer.

but mostly (it’s a phase of some sorts) i educate myself about electromagnetic fields nonstop, and i’ve changed many of my habits the day i began. no more bluetooth and wifi, only wires is an easy example.

writing… hmm. i haven’t done it for months.
and it’s the best choice ever.

i felt that writing was a trophy i chased. i didn’t like the journey no more. so, i embarked on a renewed journey to feel good in my body just as i am. just who i am. no titles. no achievements. just enjoy myself as i am.

i am filled with unlimited value. i’ve done nothing wrong. i deserve the utmost care and love. and, i have gifts to give, first and foremost, to myself, and also to people i come across with.

but that said, writing still calls me.
let’s see what comes.

well…

there’s one important thing i forgot to mention. i don’t just cycled, i also walk a lot. i’ve tackled hills, climbed through dirt, gobbled berries, smelled plants, and watched stars at night while i hike through places in estonia.

also, during estonian’s winter, i’ve pushed myself through snow. that’s fun. and fucking slow. but brings the biggest smiles until my hands stay warm.

i fucking love it.

and to be honest.

in 2020, i balled my eyes red and watered my cheeks clean. and i’ve come out stronger as never before. life has some crazy shit. twisted ways to get me back on the track towards where my soul desires to go.

i’ve come to believe (but sometimes refuse to admit) that in order to be who i was born to become, life couldn’t have happened any other way.

i am loved.
we are loved.